The Last Post Ever

It is time to end one adventure and to begin another. My life has gone through a tremendous change to the point where I do not feel this blog is relevant anymore. I have been writing on When it Rains for over five years now and have loved every second. I am amazed at the events that have happened in my life. I started this blog with the intention of just writing my stories and seeing if anyone could relate. I hope I have reached success.

This blog has changed a lot over time, along with myself as a person: I have gone from scheduling a different type of posts every day to posting pictures, poetry, and even just random rants I have had throughout these past few years.

I am excited for the things that are ahead. I am somewhat uncertain of what that all looks like. Hopefully working in my field, I will be getting married, establishing a life with my husband, and of course furthering the Kingdom of God; because that is my ultimate purpose.

I have gone through the discovery phase and finding out who I am as a person and I believe I have a firm foundation. Your early twenties are not easy. It is a lot of change and a lot of searching. I feel like now I can be settled and secure in who I am as a person and then continue to expand and grow from there.

It has been a honor blogging these past few years, and I am so thankful to everyone who subscribed to and read my stories. This has been so much fun! And the fun will continue.

I hope you all have been blessed, encouraged, given hope, felt important, and most importantly not alone through all my posts. Thank you for reading.

 

Last post…

 

xoxo

 

E

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New Adventures

A big season of my life is ending and another one is beginning.

These past two years have proved to be life-changing.

I now have my B.A. in English Literature! These past two years have paid off and I am a college graduate. What a journey it has been.

Other exciting things in my life is the fact that I am now engaged! So the next phase of life will include planning a wedding :)

I am completely relocating in a huge way. In about a month I will be moving to Mississippi. I never thought I would end up there, but that is where the Lord is leading me. It is a scary and exciting time. I want adventure and to be surprised by life. I know the Lord will lead because He has been my whole life. I trust His plan.

I have wanted my life to be a testimony unto the Lord and I believe I have accomplished that so far. He has overcome so much in my life from fears to health problems, and here I stand in wholeness and victory. I serve an awesome God who never leaves His children and always finishes a good work. He still has work to finish in my life :)

I say yes to growth and change because that is what I am entering into.

Here’s to new adventures ahead. I am very much taking life one day at a time, because I really cannot look ahead and see the future clearly. (Can we ever?)

I will continue to rely on steadfastness of the Lord. He is never changing.

E

Not Worth it Any More

I need to write about something that I typically don’t write about, but it affected me so deeply that I have to put it out there.

I watched the How I Met Your Mother finale last night and it was the most disappointing thing I have ever seen. I have followed this show for its complete nine seasons, so I have invested a lot of time and emotion into this story. I kept following it because I loved the characters and their stories. This show is about finding the one…the one that you love, and committing to spend the rest of you life with them. This show has so many good themes to it, but the finale did not match up with what the show’s foundation. The last episode was a complete slap in the face.

Spoilers ahead.

I loved season nine so much because it was completely centered around Robin and Barney’s wedding. It was leading up to their marriage and also the point where Ted finally meets “the one.” Everyone was going to get the happy ending that they deserve and had always talked about.

Nope.

After spending a whole season anticipating Robin and Barney’s marriage…they end up divorcing after three years. Ted and Tracy spend ten happy years together until she ends up dying of a disease. Seven years after that, Robin and Ted get together. What!??!!

Nothing about this show left me feeling hopeful or having a changed perspective of life or the world around me. I have no problem with tragic endings, but this was much more than that. It was a complete change of what this show was all about from the beginning. It was supposed to be about finding your true love. And I think it is so stupid that Robin was Ted’s true love this whole time. How dumb is that! It’s not realistic.

This left me so emotionally wrought and disappointed that I will not be watching tv shows for a long time. It is a waste of my life. I can be doing much more productive things with my time than sitting and watching someone else live their life for nine years straight. What a waste! And it didn’t leave me feeling better about the world. It made me sad and heartbroken. That’s not edifying or uplifting in any way. I’m not going to put my emotions through that if I don’t have to.

I think what is making me so upset is the time involved with watching a tv show like this. Yes, I watched it to help relieve some stress and get my mind off of homework. That’s why I watched it in the first place. To offer myself a little bit of an escape. But then your emotions get reeled in and it becomes a lot more than just a tv show. Which is really messed up when you step away and look at the bigger picture.

So I ask myself, what am I doing with my time!? This is honestly just a big wake up call for me. Probably one that I needed. I need to go read my Bible more. I need to read about real life and stories that are edifying and offer hope. I need to read about events that important and meaningful. Not whether Robin and Ted will end up together in the end. What!?!

It makes me so furious.

If you liked it, good for you.

Have a good day,

E

Staying Present in an Ending Season

As I logged into my blog today, it notified me that it was my anniversary with WordPress. I have been blogging for five years now. And I plan to keep on going because blogging has been an amazing outlet for my life. I don’t do it as often as I would like, but I am happy with its progress and steadfastness in my life.

Right now I am on the brink of graduating with a bachelor’s degree from Mary Washington. I have literally a month and ten days left of school and I am coasting to the finish line. I am looking ahead at all the deadlines that are about to begin piling up and I just have to put my head down and do it. I have to get through it all because soon it will all be over.

I’m usually a very nostalgic, sentimental person who wants to grasp any part of an experience to savor and hold onto so I can remember what it feels like forever. Perhaps I will feel that way the last time I am on Mary Wash campus as a student, but honestly I am ready to say goodbye to this part in my life. Only because I have exciting new things to look forward to. I know my move to Mississippi will be life changing for the good. I have never felt so ready to move on in my life. Like I said, I try to hold on, but not this time. The Lord is really preparing my heart and moving me towards the next phase of my life. It’s like He is picking me up and carrying me to that spot. I am thankful for this experience because a lot of people are pretty terrified about their future once they graduate. I am feeling the opposite. I have expectancy in my heart. Have you ever felt like that before? Like you know a season is ending and so you begin to prepare yourself for the next one?

The hard part is being present in this season and to finish strong. I am already making plans and thinking about what I’ll do when I graduate that it is so hard to focus on the task at hand. In this season comes much thankfulness for the things that remain around me, so I am able to understand what I have here.

That’s what I am going through right now.

Graduation will be soon! Praise the Lord. It’s been an awesome journey, full of so much growth. Wow. I am so thankful for this opportunity at Mary Washington. I am so glad the Lord led me here. But I’ll elaborate all of that later on.

Have a lovely Wednesday

E

What is my Identity?

So I was just think about identity and how constant and unchanging our identity in Christ is. Whenever we say yes to the Lord we become sons and daughters of the King. It is something that never goes away and it is something we can hold onto. As our lives begin to change we can always come back to that place of being rooted and grounded with who we are in Jesus.

The reason why I say this because very soon I will be losing my identity as a student. Most people don’t go back to school after getting their B.A. and after they graduate they just lose a part of themselves. They go out in the “real” world and they feel just a loss and absence in their lives. And they begin to question who they are and they have to reevaluate themselves and figure out a new identity. Whether it’s in their vocation, or relationship, or whatever they can find to fill that void. I hear it can be a daunting transition.

For that reason, I’m so thankful that the Lord reminded me that even though there will be a sense of loss in my life I can find my security and identity in Him. I can go back to that place.

It’s just a good reminder for my heart for the upcoming season of my life. A fellow student counted it out: 82 days to graduation I think? Doesn’t sound like that much.

I’m so close!

Anyways, just a little reminder. Be blessed today!

E

Rejoice and Don’t be Anxious

There are two really important commandments we are given as believers:

Rejoice Always.

Don’t be anxious.

(Philippians 4)

How often do we actually keep these commandments? I know for me, I am such an anxious, stressed person. Especially at this point in my life because I am a college student. In my senior year, none the less. It is part of the college culture to be a stressed out student. So in partaking of this common behavior of every college student ever…I am breaking a commandment. My friend and I were discussing this very thing today and we have decided not to accept this part of that identity anymore. Instead We are to be anxious for nothing; not even deadlines, homework, getting everything done in time…it’s just not going to happen. So we will be good students and do everything we’re supposed to in peace. Because we are called not to be anxious. Instead, we will pray and give all these things to the Lord knowing we can trust Him. Let me repeat that: We can trust our Father. He will take care of everything.

So we pray and rejoice! In every moment: when we just wake up, whenever we get tired, or cranky, or in lack of coffee mode, overwhelmed, angry, disappointed, when a terrible and ugly migraine takes over a day (yes, this happens often for me)…we are to turn our hearts to our Maker and rejoice! You need a reason to? Look at the beauty around us! Look at the people in your life. Look at where the Lord has brought you and what he has brought you through. and Rejoice! Because Jesus is the answer to our problems and He will answer. He will reach out and pick us back up again.

I am practicing these two commandments and being very mindful of how I live my days. I have honestly seen such a difference in this semester already.

Have a blessed day,

E

There are those times…

Sometimes song lyrics just resonate within you. I need to hear Jesus speaking to me: That He loves me through all the times and seasons of my life.
Times- Tenth Avenue North
I know I need You
I need to love You
I’d love to see You but it’s been so longI long to feel You
I feel this need for You
I need to hear You
Is that so wrong

Now You pull me near You
When we’re close I fear You
Still I’m afraid to tell you all that I’ve done

Are You done forgiving
Or can You look past my pretending, Lord
I’m so tired of defending what I’ve become
What have I become

I hear You say
My love is over
It’s underneath
It’s inside
It’s in between

The times that you doubt me
When you can’t feel
The times that you question
Is this for real

The times you’re broken
The times that you mend
The times you hate me
And the times that you bend

Well My love is over
It’s underneath
It’s inside
It’s in between

The times that you’re healing
And when your heart breaks
The times that you feel like you’ve fallen from grace

The times you’re hurting
The times that you heal
The times you go hungry and are tempted to steal

In times of confusion
In chaos and pain
I’m there in your sorrow under the weight of your shame

I’m there through your heart-ache
I’m there in the storm
My love I will keep you by My power alone

I don’t care where you’ve fallen or where you have been
I’ll never forsake you
My love never ends
It never ends

Order in the Midst of Chaos

After three days off from school, one planned (MLK Day) and two unexpected (SNOW!), I went back to being a UMW student. Not that I wasn’t a UMW student at the beginning of this week…I mean, I kept up with all my assignments, etc. But I also slept in later, saw some friends, did some fun stuff, participated in snow related activities such as sledding! It was so much fun.

I also cannot believe it is only the second week of the semester…I mean, I was gaining so much momentum and then bam! I get a little taste of freedom and now all I can think about is graduation.

Anyways, back to being a UMW student again: I was sitting in my Appalachian Folklore class (such an interesting class) and we are reading, Fair and Tender Ladies by Lee Smith. If you haven’t read it…do it only if you are totally okay with getting your heart ripped out. It is such a sad story but really good. Many times I wanted to throw the book across the room because every page it just keeps getting worse…it’s an emotional roller coaster, for sure. My professor begins discussing the novel before we all jump in a for a group debate about the characters, story, symbolism, all that good stuff…and she points out that the narrator of the story, Ivy, offers her story through letters. My professor talks about the significance of letters and deems it as an art form. She claimed that this art form for Ivy was a way to bring “order to the chaos.” The exact phrase she used. She then went on to say that all art forms, for that matter, serve the purpose of bringing order to one’s life; that people make/create art to make sense of the chaos. It made sense to me and kind of stuck with me the rest of the day.

Tonight, on my way to go babysitting, I turn on the radio to the Christian station. I usually never listen to the radio but I wanted to get a different mix of music and basically fill the silence. Phil Wickham comes on. I absolutely love his music and it was a song I had never heard before so I turn it up and begin listening to the lyrics. It’s an amazing song about who Jesus is and what He has done for us. I was really getting into it. And then there’s a line that says, “You bring order to the chaos.” And it hit me in that moment that it’s not art or our creativity, it’s Jesus! He is the answer. And I just got flooded with this revelation that it is Jesus, our Savior, who came to us, came to this world and brought order to all the chaos. And He continues to bring order throughout our lives, every single day. He helps us make sense of whatever is going around us and He becomes our order.

All along, it is Jesus. He is our hope, salvation, light…It brought me so much hope and so much joy. I was pretty overwhelmed and still am.

“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).

Let Jesus into your life and let Him bring order to your chaos.

be blessed

E

Things I learned this past week // part 1

{snap shots into my life}

 

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Reading out loud to a class your free writing exercise piece is one of the most vulnerable and nerve wracking things ever.

Even though Catherine Moreland is a Jane Austen character…she is probably one of my least favorite of the heroines. Although, Northanger Abbey was an excellent read.

Long distance continues to suck and be really, really hard. But I’m thankful for the various ways John and I get to keep in touch :)

It makes a difference when you stand up for yourself and let your voice be heard. Confrontation is not my strong point, but I’m getting better at it!

The days where I spend a part of my morning with God are exponentially better than the days where I don’t…cause I’m too busy, or I decided to sleep in later, or I just don’t feel like…yeah, hard but good lesson to learn.

That birth is really an awesome and empowering experience for a woman. I got a firsthand account from my sister and it was the neatest thing to hear!

I really love Appalachian culture. (Reinforcement from my Appalachian Folklore class)

God can use anyone to encourage and speak whatever He wants your heart to hear. You just have to be listening. He got me at a moment and it was like, wow! Sweet, sweet encouragement from the Father. Thank you, Lord.

I think that’s all for now. Just wanted to share some small parts of my life. Thanks for reading! Share some things you have learned this past week :)

be blessed

E