I am in a very hopeless romantic type mood.  Listening to mellow music.  It is late at night.  Just me.   My friend sent me a link to view her wedding pictures online.  I’ve been flipping through them and just sighing and wanting to cry because it was such a beautiful day.  She looked absolutely gorgeous and so happy.  I know my day will come, that happy day where I will marry the man I love. 

   I was feeling the pressure in a past relationship I was in, the pressure of getting married.  That was the main focus, at least the goal of the relationship.  I went along with it because it felt like the right thing to do, but my heart was telling me no.  I knew it wasn’t right.  It just didn’t feel right.  I knew if I broke off the relationship so many people around me would be disappointed.  He would be disappointed…but it came to the point where I wasn’t happy and I did not want to be in the relationship.  It was…suffocating.  So I broke it off.  Caused a lot of pain, but it wasn’t what I wanted.  I want to be with someone that I will have no regrets, no looking back and be incandescently happy. 

    I have not found that man, but I will trust God to show me who he is.

    My sister and I have this ongoing joke, well fight, over Ewan McGregor, telling each other whose husband he is.  It is very silly, but we have a lot of fun.  I am pretty sure I will not be marrying Ewan McGregor though…well I can’t help but wish?

Advertisements