This has been a tough week already and it’s only Wednesday. I know I can make it, it’s just been not fun. Not gonna lie. I have been dealing with all this chiropractor stuff. I have to go twice a week to get my body in alignment. Since then my body has reacted in a tremendous way, it really has been trying on me physically and emotionally. My chiro told me that I am one of the 10% of people who get chiropractic care who react this way. He says that it’s like opening a can of worms, figuratively speaking. So the symptoms are quite severe. Especially since I have never had this sort of care before and he was like it will take about 12 adjustments to get some relief. I really don’t know how I feel about this, that is three more weeks of whatever I have been feeling. I will survive, but I am a little worried about my sanity. Just saying.
The bright side: It can only go up from here.
I will take a lot away from this experience, like I always do and this is what Iwas thinking about today. Ever since I started having back and neck pain etc…I have wanted to feel relief instantly. I wanted it to be a quick fix and I wouldn’t have to deal with it anymore. This has been the slowest, most painful process ever! It’s not a snap of the fingers, I’ll feel better in the morning kind of thing. (I actually feel worse in the mornings) This is a process and I have to be patient. Those words came directly from the chiropractor himself.
I don’t want to be patient. I just wish God would heal me right now. I wouldn’t have to go through this. What is happening to me? These are thoughts running through my head and this is what I realize:
God is not a magician or a genie. He is not going to grant my every wish, give me want I want just so my life can be ‘easier.’ There are circumstances where God can heal us right on the spot, but sometimes He wants us to really deal with the crap in our hearts and in our lives. I have not only been dealing with hurt physically but also emotionally. So things going on in the natural are parallel to things going on in the spirit. It gives me a good picture as to what God is doing because He really been bringing stuff up in my heart that I never dealt with, never faced. And it is a process. I am like God take away this pain! Take away this hurt, I don’t want it anymore! Which is good, and we have to be willing to get over all the hurt, but we can’t just expect it to go away on its own. And that is the epitome of my life, letting things be, hoping they will just go away…
So, as you can see, I have a lot to deal with. I just have to be patient and let God do His work. The main thing I really have to realize is that God is not a genie. I mean, that’s the only way I can describe it. I want instant results. I want to feel better, to feel whole and complete, right now! Sometimes we have to feel the hurt and pain to even know what freedom and healing looks like.
Shew, this has been one hell of a ride. And it is not over yet. Just keeping my spirit in check, I am going to keep pressing into the Lord, relying on Him, surrounding myself with awesome people who can support and love me! And I am going to deal with this pain properly. Even if it means I can’t cross my legs. I am serious, my chiropractor told me I can’t cross my legs! The only way I can sit is with my legs out in front of me. So…no curling up on my couch to read a book or watch a movie!?!?! Bogus, that’s what I call it! *sheepishly uncrosses legs*
Anyways, that’s what I have been dealing with. I do feel a lot better blogging about it. Let’s me know where I am and it feels good to get this all out.
I promise next time I will have a more positive report (I hope) Just be encouraged and know that God will never leave you or forsake you. No matter what you are going through, you will make it. I promise. There is a reason why we experience all this pain. It makes us stronger. I have to think positively when I’m in these types of situations, or I would be pretty miserable…