I’ve been contemplating my future plans recently…I pretty much have everything set on going to this school. I have not heard anything from them as to whether I’ve been accepted or not. At moments I get a little freaked out and my mind goes to the worst possible place…but then I am brought back to reality and everything seems to be okay. So, like I said, I have all my sights set on going to college in the fall. The major plan is to move there, establish myself, and get my bachelor’s in English. And what if that’s not what God has for me!?!? I’ve come to this realization, that my life could go in a completely different direction. College isn’t always the answer to a successful life, even though that’s all we’re told as young people. I have a huge desire to go to school, especially for what I want to do with my life…and if I don’t get in, than what? So basically I have been coming up with other plans for my life. I do have a few options…which puts my mind at ease and I have to realize, if I don’t get into this school, it’s not the end of the world. If you can believe me, I really do trust God’s plan for me. I know He is faithful and if Mary Wash isn’t what He has for me, I know there’s something better. And these past few days, I’ve really accepted this. That He’s not gonna leave me alone to fend for myself and try to come up with another life plan. That’s just not how it works. And I think there’s something really beautiful about laying down your hearts desires and truly saying, “I give it all to You, take everything, even the things the mean the most to me. They’re yours.” And it’s so freeing because then you continue to walk with God and it’s awesome cause He gives you grace and favor for the rest of your life. And His desires truly become the desires of your heart. Like, I completely feel the blessing of God on my life. I just know that things are going to work out. I just have to process it a little bit. The unknown of my future kind of excites me, because life is an adventure and, I’ve realized, totally unexpected. It’s really beautiful how much of our being is suspended in God’s will for us. It keeps you on your toes, that’s for sure ;)
I know that life is hard and figuring things out can be overwhelming, but just trust God and it will all work out. I have a testimony of that in my life.