I know this Christmas season will be different for me than any other I have experienced. I have one month left in the year 2012 and I will continue to be open to whatever the Lord has for me. Since Thanksgiving, He has already started to do a deep work within my heart. A deep healing that I have never experienced before. It is un-explainable the way I have been feeling lately. This season will be a time of healing, trusting, and complete thankfulness.
If you have followed my blog from the beginning, or are very close to me, you will know that it has been a very hard past few years. It feels like I am finally emerging from that season into a way different season than I have ever experienced before. Let’s just say that I love being 22 and I love growing older because some things seem easier than they were before. For example, I am coming to a place where I am more sure of myself, that I am more aware of myself and the people around me. The wonderful part of growing old is gaining more experience and knowledge, it’s just the process of life.
I’m trying to be more open to what the Lord has for me. There is a lot of hurt deep within my heart and I’m trying to let it all go so the Lord can prepare me for my future. A theme for me lately has been letting go of the past and not letting it dictate my future. I don’t want to find my identity from where I’ve been and what I’ve been through. But to look at is as a beautiful part of my life’s story. For the first time, in a long time, I feel like I am doing exactly what I was made to do. And I am exactly where God wants me to be. I am okay with just living day by day and living truly in the moment. As well as, anticipating my future and never looking back. The part that I have been coming to terms with is that God cares and it matters to Him the path that my life is going and has gone. The hurt in my past, it matters to Him. The freeing part is that he does not want me to hold onto those things. The words I always reiterate in my posts is that God wants us to be completely free. To have complete wholeness in Him. He desires that tremendously.
The other night I was worshiping and the Lord just kept saying to me, “It matters. It all matters to me.” Past seasons, present seasons, and future seasons…it all matters to Him. And He is ever present and He has never been absent from my life. He is working His beautiful plan into my life and for that I am thankful.
Thankfulness, it is so powerful. Be thankful today and just know that it all matters to Him. I hope you enjoy your Christmas season and you look at it a new light and you are open to whatever the Lord has for you.