One semester down, three more to go…
Time flies when you’re having fun! Or stressed out of your mind. Or so busy that you cannot even keep up with time anymore. I cannot believe I’ve been in Fredericksburg four months! I am beyond thrilled at how well this semester went and how my life has fallen into a comfortable, familiar rhythm.
This is a journal entry I wrote thinking about my month long break in between semesters. Thought I would share.
As I wait in this liminal state of mind, I let myself just…be. I try to settle my heart and my thoughts and incline my ear to the gentle whisper of my Father. No exams, no homework, no pressure…just me and the silence. I take time to write what I want to write. I take time to read what I want to read to keep my imagination alive and fresh, instead of bogged down with academia. Balance. I count the days until I see my family. I stay up late. I enjoy moments. That is what this past week off from school has been and what I hope the remainder of my break will be. The nice thing about this break is that I don’t have to ache for the unpredictability of my future. I know that I am supposed to be here in Fredericksburg. I am a student and I’m moving towards achieving a degree. I am safe for now; I have the bigger part of my life figured out. What about the details? God will work those out too. It feels nice not having to worry about the big picture because it seems pretty clear at the moment. Live in Fredericksburg for 2 years, get a bachelors degree in English Literature. So the details I am referring to are the ones that make my emotions embark on a roller-coaster. The encounters and little pokes from opposing forces that try to bring me down, that try to squash this bigger picture into something chaotic and miserable. God, where are you? I cry out. I don’t want to just get through this and go through the motions. I want this to be a beautiful, living, growing experience that I cherish for the rest of my life. I don’t want to give into the illusion that I am too busy for God and too busy for other people…so as I am facing this Christmas break, I want to be intentional. Intentional with my prayers, thoughts, smiles, exchanges…not to be in a state of slumber and switch my brain off. No. This will not be acceptable. -ejf (I always sign my journal entries like this, no explanation haha)
I am looking forward to seeing my family! I plan to have a blog post of our time together including mostly pictures from our various activities.
I truly wish all my readers a wonderful Christmas holiday full of peace and rest! The few days leading up to Christmas I dread the most because of the anxiety that fills people’s hearts and minds. This is not how Christmas should be viewed! Anyways, don’t be anxious for anything. Enjoy what you have and in everything, be thankful :)